The Perks of Being a Cuban.

I have to spend New Years Eve with about 20 strangers. My uncle's wife's family-- I say it that way because they're Puerto Rican and I'm not neither is my uncle. She's my godmother I'll call her that now that the bloodline has been established. Her family from Puerto Rico are coming to America for the new year. So I have to spend New Year's Eve with them. A bad night but up until a few hours ago I had no other option. My other uncle calls-- my moms brother-- and asks to spend New Year's with us like we used to when my cousin and I were growing up. I think last time we did that AJ wasn't even a year old. We had grown apart since then. Not really, but sort of. There wasnt much talking anymore, they moved a little further out into NY. (They were 30 minutes away versus an hour now). But they still spoke to my mom we would go over for AJs birthday and Brandi's birthday and other family stuff but not like we used to. There was a time when we were there every weekend. Once they got the new house for a while they never wanted to leave i because they loved it there so much. It's a beautiful quiet house. So he calls and asks to spnd New Year's Eve at our house. 1) I wouldn't have to get dressed and sit around with 20 people who won't talk to me because I'm 17. 2) I love my family and I love that theyre making an effort to start again. I have so much fun when I'm with them. It's such a shame that I'm stuck in San Juan when I could be at home with familiar people who actually know and care about me. My parents are pissed off too. Shitty way to start a year I've been awaiting since the 8th grade.

I marvel at my inability to accept that I make mistakes. I mess up a lot but will never ever admit to doing so. I'm too hardheaded. I fear that as I grow so will by stubbornness and it will fester into a complete shunning of all people who cannot agree with me. I don't want to surround myself with yesers but I also cannot deal with people who don't listen to me when I talk. Though some may think I am quiet, they would beshocked at the number of words I have in my brain just clamoring to spill out of my mouth. I have an opinion oneverything and it bothers when people have opinions drastically different from my own. Bothers me even more when someone just like me tries to argue his or her own opinion and does not do it well enough.

I am still fearful about my future. I need to grow and mature and accept that people will not mold themselves based onhow I would like them to be. Not everyone can be like me, eventhough I understand that I am not that great and do see many of my huge flaws. It's the flaws I see in others that I do not have that I try to make them get rid of. I need to realize that every individual my age is still slowly growing into themselves and hesitantly figuring out who they will be for the rest of their lives. I fear, also, that I am already so set in my ways that I will never allow myself to evolve as my peers are doing. I need to examine my own psychebefore i examine other peoples'-- an examination that is usually unwanted and very unnecessary.

This post is more about La Tortura than reggaeton, but the following holds true for it too... in a sense. I'll be the first to admit that I hate reggaeton and hate that it's American's only taste of Latin muysic and it is what they think we listen to exclusively. While that is not the case I'm enjoying America's tolerance towards a new genre of music so drastically different from what Top 40 has played for decades. Shakira said it best in her acceptance speech at the Billboard awards. People are putting race and language aside and focusing on the fact that MUSIC is MUSIC no matter than language it is sung in. That really means a lot to me as that tolerance for music can only grow and grow. Hopefully one day songs in spanish will be as popular and equally requested/ wanted as songs in english. A spanglish station!!! It meant a lot to me that a bunch of gringos embraced La Tortura. Even more that many of them tried to learn the words just by sounds! Some looked for translations! It gets me excited that at step one they enjoyed the music, and step 2 they wanted to enjoy the song as a whole. I love that.