The Perks of Being a Cuban.

As we grow, we lose that innocence. Our intuition fails us and we make mistakes. WE make choices every day that shape who we are and will be. As we grow we lose sight of what we were, and the people that were once there. We push those people aside, they simply do not fit in with our new image. They represent the past, the innocence I guess. We are adults now, or we believe we are. Invincible. Infallible. Terribly flawed in denial. We exaggerate, we over react, we under react. We ignore consequence or thought process. Until hopefully it all clicks.
The people who were there for you may still be there, waiting. They may not be. We don't know, we pretend not to care. Adult's wouldn't care, we lie to ourselves. For what? For maturity. For acceptance. For independence. From what the past represents. We repress our pasts, so as to not regress, and loss all the hardheadedness and hardheartedness we have managed to gain on our search for adulthood. We're grown ups... We swear.
It's all very stupid. I've seen it too often. I've lost many whom I've cared for. Many who once cared for me. I've lost them to the idea of adulthood, to the word, to the feeling. They lose sight of who they are and try to do some growing. Why is it that as I grow, I keep looking back while also looking forward. Childhood and adolescence are so ephemeral and fugitive, I feel it's essential to hold onto those who've made these journeys with you. Rather than letting them go and make the journey with new less recognizable people. That journey becomes lonely and empty. Fill that journey towards knowledge and adulthood with your past and your present, the future will transition itself easier that way. That's just how I feel.

I believe that I may be at fault
I believe that I’m the one to blame
Putting myself down at times
At fault for all your pain
I can’t just let it go

I believe that I’m too hard on myself
Beating myself up for what you’ve lost
Looking inside of myself
To see it all go wrong

It’s easier to blame me
And to hate myself at times
It’s easier to be guilty
And that way I won’t hate who you’ve become

I’m to blame, can’t you see
It’s easy do you see
To blame me, and save you
Mistakes are in the past
Long forgotten…

I believed that I could save the world
I believed I was a helpful ear
Gave myself too much credit
Can’t even save myself
My intuition fails me
I can’t save you from yourself
I can’t imagine how you’re doing
And you’re too far gone to be found

And
I’m to blame, can’t you see
It’s better this way
To blame me, and find you
It will never be the same
Long forgotten…

Automatically
I just think of you
Since the day you left
That’s all I can do

Waiting without knowing kills me, I hope you realize
And impatiently I wait to look at your eyes
And every single day I cry deep inside of me
There’s no way to live without you here with me

Though I seem invincible
It’s fatal and essential
That you return
Return to me
Return, Oh
This pain is suffocating
Now I sit here still expecting
For you to you return
You to return
Return
Why do you torture me so?

Inevitably
I am without peace
What’s become of me
Since our final kiss

You say I have no reason to react this way
That you’ve made your choice
And to be out of your way
But I’m not ready to break the ties that bind you to me
Be considerate; I’m suffering can’t you see

Though I seem invincible
It’s fatal and essential
That you return
Return to me
Return, Oh
This pain is suffocating
Now I sit here still expecting
For you to you return
You to return
Return
Why do you torture me so?

Translated from Bebe's "Tu Silencio"

Like jumping off a cliff without a rope
You fall you fall you fall, you fall
Like accidentally getting too close
You shut your eyes to avoid

That the air’s like glass
Ready to crack
And though it’s strange I want you to be mine
That the air’s like glass
Ready to crack
And though it’s strange I want you to be mine

Like a wave that surrenders to a rock
You are crushed and silenced by your words and thoughts

And now I’m not here
And now you’re not here
Our silence is the most eloquent lie.
And now I’m not here
And now you’re not here
Our silence is the most eloquent lie.

My silence lives within yours
And within me lives
A distant piece of you
My silence lives within yours
And within my eyes lives
A fading piece of you
And now that you’re here
And now that I’m here
Hold me so that I may think of you again
And now that you’re here
And now that I’m here
Hold me so that I may think of you again

The air’s like glass
Ready to crack
Though my lips don’t speak
I want you back