The Perks of Being a Cuban.

I'm sick to my stomach, over analyzing, and over thinking. I'm so much under pressure, pressure that i've put upon myself. Pressure that isn't raelly there. It's all in my head. So i got into the school I wanted to go to. but now, i really don't know if that was the right fit for me. I do well with smaller classes, I like my teachers knowing my name, recognizing my face, talking after class. I like my teachers to take interest in me, and I don't think that'll happen here.
I look at other schools, with a real campus, a Quad, a library, a cafeteria, a parking lot. I'm going to school in the middle of New York City, as cool as it sounds, none of the things I mentioned exist at my school. Like most college kids sit out on a lawn, Fordham students have to go to Central Park. Like most college kids who get to go to the campus library at 2 AM and write a paper, Fordham students have to go to the NYC Public Library. Absolutely everyone I know at Fordham commute, and I know a lot of people. Because there really is no campus. There are dorms, and they're nice, but there aren't that many.
All of the things that come to mind when you think of a college camopus aren't at Fordham. and while it's totally what I wanted this time last year, it's a bit extreme. I'm going from absolute wilderness to absolutely urban.
I hate my inability to make a choice, I hate making mistakes, and as phenomenal as this school is, I really need to know that it's the right fit for me, and I really don't know yet.
I'm deliriously confused.

I start many projects. I give myself a lot of credit. I assume I'll pursue these things to their ends, whichever they may be. I started a story, a possible book. It has 2 pages, and I am ready to scrap it. It's totally a ridicuous undertaking, and involves subjects I'm not familiar with.
I've started the story off on such broad grey terms, it could go ina limitless amount of directions, but i really don't know if anyof them are particularly interesting. and if an intersting one does exist, somewhere in the cosmos, won't it please fall from the sky and bonk me on the head?

There’s never silence
There’s always a whisper
A faint shout in the dark
A cough in an empty room

It’s never quiet
Try as much as you want
Stand in the shade as long as you’d like
Stand in the dark forever if you’d like

Come on wake up
Things aren’t so bad, now
Come on wake up
Get over what’s in your past
Come on Come on Come on
Get up

There’s never peace
There’s always a fighter
A dreamer with hope
A madman with a vision

It’s never safe
Wait as much as you want
Stand in the shade as long as you’d like
Stand in the dark forever if you’d like

Come on wake up
Things aren’t so bad, now
Come on wake up
Get over what’s in your past
Come on Come on Come on
Get up

There’s always hope
There’s always a day left
A minute, an hour
Some time for life to find you

Come on wake up
Things aren’t so bad, now
Come on wake up
Get over what’s in your past
Come on Come on Come on
Let Go

She gives herself completely
But not as completely as they’d like her to
She’s left with a void the size of the sun

She swears she’s so far past it
Promises she’ll forget them
Ignores her chance to reconcile

If the first time wasn’t hard enough
How will she get through 2 or 3?
Maybe soon she’ll stop wondering why she’s all alone
She’s all alone, again
She’s so insecure, thinks she’s so self assured
Preparing for her breakdown
They keep breaking her down

She’s completely not herself
And they honestly couldn’t care less
She’s left with regret, consumes every though

She swears she’s so far past them all
Promises she’ll forget them all
Pretends she’s already moved on

If the first time wasn’t hard enough
How will she get through 2 or 3?
Maybe soon she’ll stop wondering why she’s all alone
She’s all alone, again
She’s so insecure, thinks she’s so self assured
Preparing for her breakdown
They keep breaking her down

The walls close her in
Their words do her in
She comes undone,
This round, they’ve won

If the first time wasn’t hard enough
How will she get through 2 or 3?
Maybe soon she’ll stop wondering why she’s all alone
She’s all alone, again
She’s so insecure, thinks she’s so self assured
Preparing for her breakdown
They keep breaking her down