The Perks of Being a Cuban.

What ever happened to the simple easy-going life I once led? I remember a time when I would sit back, relax, and watch the abundance of remarkable things come to ME instead of me seeking good fortune for myself. Life cannot be this simple forever, as I am now bitterly beginning to notice. I am no longer 12 and lucky, I am slowly becoming more realistic, more pessimistic. The once half full glass is quickly becoming half empty.
You may be wondering why I use so many vague descriptions. School has become a chore, an obstacle. I'm currently drowning in a sea of moles, Molars, and other Chemistry-related things I simply cannot hold in my mind. I do not have a scientific brain, I do not have a mathematical brain. I like the vague, the open to discussion. I like being analytical. I like to create my own conclusions and do not like to be told what is definitively right. Math is too dry for me to enjoy myself with. Not to mention my complete lack of a competent math teacher. I miss that old flamboyant little bugger, and am forced to settle with a sad lonely 57 year old woman who still lives with her mother. She teaches more physics and chemistry than algebra.
To tell you the truth, I must begrudgingly admit that I am not even enjoying English class anymore. Jane Eyre is perhaps, the worst book I've ever been forced to read. Why can't we at least reach the modern British era, with the sarcastically humorous writing seen on PBS' British TV shows? I am too unattached to Jane Eyre. After experiencing a magical year of incredible books such as the Great Gatsby, CATCHER IN THE RYE, the Crucible, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and the Good People of new York ( not to mention amazingly written short stories like The No Guitar Blues and Teenaged Wasteland) it is sort of hard to revert back to the unrelateable writing of the 1700s (? 1700s? no clue).
I can't take school, and I wish it were as easy as it was back then. Back when I was "master of my domain" in the nonperverted way. I was outgoing and spent every waking moment living to make others laugh. Priorities have shifted and THAT now occurs outside of classes. I'm a well behaved, quiet boy who REFUSES to give a teacher a reason not to like him. I'm far too polite to people I'm not too close to. If more people saw the edge that I actually do have, I don't think it would be received well. Unless you actually have a physical attraction towards a me rainbowbritelalalalalala you would NOT put up with my asssholeyness, unless you can dish it out yourself; which I in fact respect VERY much. Anyone willing to match wits with this asshole is a hero in my eyes.
I sort of want to talk about religion. I think, I'm getting more Catholic, in the spiritual sense. While I do not agree with the institutionalization of the Church, I still hold its truths very close to me. I respect the words written in the Bible and to a degree want to carry them through to my daily life. I find myself in deep prayer every night, not praying for enlightenment, but for comfort and security in the fact that I am in fact, a good person. I have not reached that realization yet and perhaps never will, but asking for spiritual guidance does in fact relax my discomfort.