The Perks of Being a Cuban.

Im taking care of a dog. Im not a big dog person, even though Casey is very cute. This is my first day with her and I'm really not sure what to do with her. Oh well

I like to sleep. But I usually feel like so much time is wasted after I wake up. I try to wake up by 9 AM because I like having a morning, an afternoon, and a night even though I go to bed at around 4 AM. Now my eyes are getting heavy and I feel very sleepy/goofy/lethargic. Its hard to describe in engliish, i always say that I feel like "no tengo animo." I wonder what would happen if I napped now?

I'm watching 7th Heaven out of boredom, and it's putting me to sleep even more. The writing is horrible and the maajority of the episode has been dubbed so the words are a bit off due to poor postproduction. It's a very bad show. Luckily its been 23 minutes in an they still have not mentioned their overzealous religious attitude. Again-- I'm a Catholic but hate people who wear it on their sleeve. Can't stress that enough

I was teriffied as my father called me downstairs to look at my report card. My hands and legs were shaking. For the past few weeks since exams began I had been setting myself up for the worst possible scenario and had set myself up in my mind as a St Peters Prep flunk-out.
I meet him downstairs with a wary nervous grin to his ear to ear smile. I knew everything was alright. My heart still beating fast I take that piece of paper in y hands and see the beautiful 72 next to chemistry. I want to marry Mr Lagerstrom, that wonderful man passed me!

The days are beginning to string together in a seemingly endless pattern of sitting, eating, and watching terrible shows on MTV. Summer truly is a very boring thing. Even reading has become too difficult, as it is so much easier to sit and play Gold Miner. I need something to do. Something that will occupy my time and make me less of a slothy lazy pile of Cuban skin and bones. Perhaps I'll begin writing. That way I will be more comfortable come Creative writing time. I've always wanted to write but I still am at a loss as to what to write about. I've got interests and ideas in my head that, when formulated properly, could turn out to be wonderful stories. But I've never had the focus to do it , and do it properly. I even have an idea of a teenager who spends the whole short story talking about the difficulties of writing a short story. Ah! Irony! These many ideas sound great, hilarious, moving, poignant, and engaging in my head, however all those feelings as of yet have not transcended onto paper. Help me !

I haven't slept. Didn't I say that summer was sleep time? nah. I like having 4 hours of sleep a day and walking around zombified and hazy. I get so goofy without sleep, its so much fun! Hmm. I'm goofy!

This summer, I suspect will be spent reading and watching DVDs, as TV will be in reruns. A Confederacy of Dunces, Finding Manana, On the Road.... I need more books. Any suggestions? Dan, don't give me any crappy suggestions like that bad book with the dog. Karrie, no British lit, except if its like Sir Gawain

School is finally over for the year and I couln't be happier about this lon ganticipated break! I'm finally done! done done done!!!!!!
What kind of idiot goes to school 2 days after school is over with? The idiot who is in yearbook- haha. Today was lots of fun, and I actually did work! haha

Now, to break the chain of the usual posting style. I'll keep this short and say that I'm making a new Mix CD with a bunch of singers from Janis Joplin to Aretha to ACDC its really fun

Good God, thisis a boring course. I may fal asleep during my exam. The Catholic Church is bo-ring!

Today was a mixed up day. Start the day with some tea, like always. Then off to Chem exam. I don't eat breakfast during school.. too early, once in a while I may have fruit. But tpday, I just had tea. Off topic. The exam was.... fair. Not as bad as I had built it up in my head, but obviously the grade will not be as sparkling as my English grade. Then Dan Julian and I walked around as some kid drooling on my shoulder followed. I believe his name was Dan as well. Dan Julian and I had a good time just making fun of drool boy. Before that we walked around school and got Ms Wortman to sign my yearbook. Then we went to Green Cow and Mr. Julian ate my entire Panini, thanks a lot. Theres still a piece in the fridge Ill eat later on. I made a fool of myself at Babo, the new Bubble Tea/smoothie/Cafe place, as I sang along to Kelly Clarkson's Behind these Hazel Eyes. I'm sorry, but she is not a guilty pleasure. Gilmore Girls is.

Now, I blog because I just canbnot focus on how unexcting this stuff is to read aout. Writing about it is fine. Reading it is not.

SAVE ME !!!! DISTRACT ME! NotoriousROB23 ... just IM meee ahahaahaha

this is just a reminder to myselfto writre about frida replacing eteral sunshine as best movie

Well, exams are fastly appraching their end. This is a very exciting thing, even though my next exam is Chemistry. I've sid repeatedly that Chemistry is my most difficult subject, so I won't go into it right now. It's on Monday, pray to whichever god of yours is listening. After that is REligion, which, because he gave us every question (all there is is memorizing notes and I take immaculate notes) should be a great wind-don after the stressful Chemistry shit-exam.

For the summer, I will be stuck at home, as there is so money. All of it wsas spent on Spain last year. Ms Garcia's crazy but it was well-worth the money as I had an incredible time. Kind of a big fall-backwards.... Madrid---> Jersey. hmm not that same. But oh well, I'll do some local stuff or whatever. Just relax, since this year was such a stressful restless one. I just didn't get enough sleep, especially during exams. Right now, I'm physically drained. Does eating fruit give you energy? I had some Rainer cherries, they were good. I have some cantalope, melon and mango too that I'll eat.

I try my best to stay positive. I try my best to not spiral into that teenaged angsty depression I so desperately do not want to emulate. But finals are annoying, inevitable, but annoying nonetheless. History-- multiple choice was horiffic. Algebra-- those long answer questions kicked my ass, they were impossible, however thank you Mister Muir for considering that I have an incompetent algebra teacher and making most of the test doable. But, dear reader(not you dan, the reader that I actually enjoy talking to) you may have noticed my extreme paranoia. This doesnt not end at the eerie feeling that Ms Eaton and Ms Wortman read my blog, but also in feeling as though I somehow screwed up in these 2 classes. I'm so scared. Ihope I don't fail out, as I do not want to go through the getting back in process again. Back then, I had nothing going for me. I wasn't a good writer even. None of my classes even got near the 80s, except Religion which I ended with a 90. But, now, I'm not stupid. I have strengths and weaknesses. It's just so tough to concentrate on doing well in such dry subjects. I love English, as writing, even just writing an analytical paper, is one of the few things we get to express ourselves with in our school. Essay writing, structured as it may be, allows for a semblance of color to shine through the black and white of a uniformed catholic school. I love Religion. I love being ableto discuss my faith, while still discussing or arguing the importance or over importance of the Catholic Church on society. My faith in a spiritual sense is very important to me. My faith in an institutional sense is not. I loveSpanis. AS crazy as my teacher may be, I enjoy learning and reading about influential Hispanic authors. I love learning about my heritage, I'm Cuban, dear reader. I love reading about Cuba from Jose Marti. His imagery of even a simple palm tree swaying in the breeze along with many other powerful images create a quintessential picture of a prerevolution Cuba. A Cuba that still smelled of sugarcane and people still danced in the street, not because it was a cool thing to do, but because they were allowed to. Ihate Science. It's too dry, too boring. TOO DIFFICULT! It does not compute into my brain, as my brain has been formed into an artsy analytical one. This is the same reason I do not do well with maths. I know for a fact that I will never ever use math, as journalists, English teachers, and Spanish teachers do not use advanced algebra. Algebra is just, empty to me. It's useless, and because I know that, it makes it all the more difficult to concentrate on the math. I hate history. Its not a difficult class, its just so useless and boring. How exciting can a few hundred dead guys be? Not very. I just hope these exams turn out well, I'm paranoid, with reason. As i have realized the uselessness of the subjects I hate.

Teenagers often thake themselves too seriously. Their problems are the worst in the world. Ther life is a tragic kindom of pain and suffering. Their middle name is angst.
I don't do that. I don't think I can. I think I'm far too much a realist to ever succumb to the mental shutdown and isolation that is a teenager's supposedly dramatic life. My life doesn't suck. I'm cheerfully content with my place in the universe and eagerly await the future, but am not desperate for a better tomorrow. With life comes the ups, the downs, and the in-betweens. Life brings you to that point of euphoria and then brings you all the way down to such a bluthering idiot you cry at Carrie Underwood winning American Idol. and sometimes, life is just there, passing you by, nothing good happens, nothing bad hapens, it just ... happens. And I'm content with the "just-happenings" of life. I see no reason to force life to bring me up. Nor do i avoid the downward journey, as it is inevitable and will better itself.
People take themselves too seriously. I realize that more and more everyday as I notice the torture some people put themselves through over stupid teenage bullshit. You're 16, 17, whatever. It's not the end of the world. In fact, its the beginning. Realize the uselessness of the day to day tragedy, ad learn to find the inner nerd in yourself. Fall down to make someone laugh. Do an impression of a funny teacher. Be outspoken. Be everything you envy. Create your own destiny. Guide your own way.
I use empty cilches because, as shitty as they may sound they're true. At this age, we now form ourselves for the future. Who do I want to be? I know now that I do not want to be a chemist, mathematician, or Historian. Thats the kind of stuf I think about. Why torture yourself with the empty negatives that will eventually pass when you can surround yourself with the positives?
Why did I write this? It's so cliche. It sounds like a graduation speech and it started as an observation. It is so not written well, cliches and the like. Ms Wortman would give me a 78, at most. I wrote this, because I was bored. I was thinking about what happened tonight and realized tehe pettiness of it all, and how I wasted an hour of my day. And i noticed that it was just a stupid silly waste of time. Again, taken too seriously.
What is emo. A bunch of mellowdramatic kids dressed in black. What's funny is they complain about life while most of thee kids are rich kids raised in the classiest of class that is suburbia. It's hilarious. "No one loves me blah blah blah"... Thats because mommy and daddy are off buying you another car. LIFE DOESNT SUCK!
I think Im writing this inspirational post (its supposed to be inspirational, read closer!) because i read one of my favorite books again, and aain, and again after watching Sesame Street this morning. Oh the Places you'll go by Doctor Seuss. Life is full of change, constantly moving. You learn something new every day. You grow change and evolve every day. KID YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!!! Thanks for the book Ms Eaton, I don't know why I'm paranoid enough to think you read this.

This post maybe all over the place. You don't have to read, but if I don't get all f this outon "paper" my brain will explode faster than if someone were to tell a jock that they have π JUGs (credit: Spivak [not sure how to spell it, don't really care to know either].)

I don't like dealing with people whose main agenda is to start drama and bicker and cause every single person who crosses their path to havea CRAPPY day. I don't really want to mention who, as this person does in fact have a way with finding outt crap and I really do not feel like getting bitten in the ass today. Honestly tell me, do I seem like the type of person who hangs up on someone when the conversation isn't going my way? Nope. If you knew me at all you'd know that I like to talk things out until the conversation does in fact finish in my favor. But you don't know me, at all, because you haven't even tried to ge to know me. As Robert, you've known me for 16 years, but what about Robert as a person, Rob. The sarcastic kid who does almost anything for a laugh around his good friends, the Rob who can win any argument no matter how smart the person with his sarcastic comebacks alone. Did you know I was sarcastic? I didn't think you did. You've never been there, and you always think you've beeen, but you haven't. Graduation wasn't a big deal for me, you were there, OK? Fine. What about my Emmaus homecoming. Even though I didn't have one, I knew you were "too busy"(again) to even go. My ring ceremony, another xcuse. Granted I didn't really want the ring, but mygodmother my uncle and my parents were there. Why weren't you? Why have we never had a conversation, as equals? Why have you always imagined yourself on a pedestal, above me, scolding me, like a parent to its child and not like what we actually are. I wish you knew your brother better than he knows himself. But if you refuse to then it doesn't really matter does it?

They made Miss Eaton cry today, twice in one eternally long 28 minute class. IT seemed like an hour, I couldn't believe what I was watching. She was so vulnerable, so broken. Like all of her dreams of being the perfect teacher were crushed by a few assholes who simply do not care about anyone or anything. They think they're "the shit" and will do anything to prove that they are. Watching her cry they probably weren't sorry, or remourseful, they probably felt accomplishment. Lord knows they've never felt that in her class before, since they've accomplished nothing else. It was horryfying to see her reach that point and see her run out into the hallway. Ho wcould anyone do that to a teacher? On teachers appreciation week? And to sucha dedicated teacher too. How many teachers make themselves available for assistance every night until 11:30 or later? How many teachers are willing to sit with you foras long as it takes to make sure you understand exactly how to write a good paper? Not many. And to watch all of her hard work go down the drain in 28 minutes was horibble. Why do I still want to be a teacher?

I feel as though people who shouldn't be reading my blog are. Paranoid I know. But if it's true, shout out to my english teachers of this year and last year.
I'm having one of those hell-like weeks that make you anticipate the weekend even more than usual. Quizzes pretty much every day this week, tests too. The only class that's not eating my ass is English. Yeah, I'm sort of back to liking English class. I'm exhausted(woohoo) and have allergies. What's great is allergies haven't hit me hard yet, but I do have the allegry headache.
Prep Day. I wanted to go to Ashes and Snowwwwww! Not because of the obvious reason either! Geoffrey Colbert ( is that him?) IS REALLY INCREDIBLE! His photographs are amazing (amazeen in OC lingo). But alas, Muir has saved me a spot on his.... he's not artsy :( and he's not the best english teacher in the universe.... NOT THE SAME :'(

Khaki is crappy


I'm going to make my own pants out of random fabrics... and hemp, because its spring. I'm thinking of also being creative and making pants out of paperclips and postits.... call them Office-Desk Pants. Why am I making my own pants? BECAUSE IT'S SPRING!

Tomorrow shall royally suck. I must sit there for about 2 hours and listen to some dude cry about the dangers of sex and drugs in hopes of reforming the nymphos and cokeheads of my school. Why I have to go, I know not :) haha. I'm a good boy who's never even gotten near any sort of drug, as Dare actually worked on me! That video of the black kid who norted coke and then keeled over and died in his living room 25 minutes later was CHILLING! There should be drugtesting before they make the goood kids sit through tehe pointless crap. We're out of school BY ELEVEN! THATS SO POINTLESS! Its a 2 1/2 hour day, and yet I still have to wake at 6 and be in school by 7, making it a 4 hour day, of uselessness. Freshman get to go to art museums, like the Whitney. Muir's going to El Museo....? I like the Whitney, I went freshman year with Ms Wortman and Ms Hellstrom, who commented later in the day on how brilliant my isight on the symbolism of the art was.... I miss that kooky Wisconsinite. People hated her, but how on earth can you hate someone who thinks you're BRILLIANT! I loved her!!!! hahahaha Sophomores get to go on retreat. Sophomore retreat was kind of better than VFreshman retreat, but not by much. It was sort of boring, I remember forgetting my oneonone partner's name and asking him when it was my turn to talk about him. Ms Dewitt found it very funny, as did I. I could have asked him to tell me during someone else's reflection, but it was much funnier this way.

What ever happened to the simple easy-going life I once led? I remember a time when I would sit back, relax, and watch the abundance of remarkable things come to ME instead of me seeking good fortune for myself. Life cannot be this simple forever, as I am now bitterly beginning to notice. I am no longer 12 and lucky, I am slowly becoming more realistic, more pessimistic. The once half full glass is quickly becoming half empty.
You may be wondering why I use so many vague descriptions. School has become a chore, an obstacle. I'm currently drowning in a sea of moles, Molars, and other Chemistry-related things I simply cannot hold in my mind. I do not have a scientific brain, I do not have a mathematical brain. I like the vague, the open to discussion. I like being analytical. I like to create my own conclusions and do not like to be told what is definitively right. Math is too dry for me to enjoy myself with. Not to mention my complete lack of a competent math teacher. I miss that old flamboyant little bugger, and am forced to settle with a sad lonely 57 year old woman who still lives with her mother. She teaches more physics and chemistry than algebra.
To tell you the truth, I must begrudgingly admit that I am not even enjoying English class anymore. Jane Eyre is perhaps, the worst book I've ever been forced to read. Why can't we at least reach the modern British era, with the sarcastically humorous writing seen on PBS' British TV shows? I am too unattached to Jane Eyre. After experiencing a magical year of incredible books such as the Great Gatsby, CATCHER IN THE RYE, the Crucible, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and the Good People of new York ( not to mention amazingly written short stories like The No Guitar Blues and Teenaged Wasteland) it is sort of hard to revert back to the unrelateable writing of the 1700s (? 1700s? no clue).
I can't take school, and I wish it were as easy as it was back then. Back when I was "master of my domain" in the nonperverted way. I was outgoing and spent every waking moment living to make others laugh. Priorities have shifted and THAT now occurs outside of classes. I'm a well behaved, quiet boy who REFUSES to give a teacher a reason not to like him. I'm far too polite to people I'm not too close to. If more people saw the edge that I actually do have, I don't think it would be received well. Unless you actually have a physical attraction towards a me rainbowbritelalalalalala you would NOT put up with my asssholeyness, unless you can dish it out yourself; which I in fact respect VERY much. Anyone willing to match wits with this asshole is a hero in my eyes.
I sort of want to talk about religion. I think, I'm getting more Catholic, in the spiritual sense. While I do not agree with the institutionalization of the Church, I still hold its truths very close to me. I respect the words written in the Bible and to a degree want to carry them through to my daily life. I find myself in deep prayer every night, not praying for enlightenment, but for comfort and security in the fact that I am in fact, a good person. I have not reached that realization yet and perhaps never will, but asking for spiritual guidance does in fact relax my discomfort.

My hair is far too short. It used to be long, on my face, unruly, and perfect. Now, its short; it makes my head look so long. I look teribble, and it's all because of Danny, the hair guy. He was, I think, too busy singing the disco music on the radio to listen to what i had told him. "I DO NOT WANT IT SHORT!!!! It must still be long, just clean it up on the sides and the front to make me presentable enough so the family will stp telling me how much they hate it." I am sick and tired of listening to old know-nothing family members tell me how "ugly" I looked. But now they have their wish, and I'm stuck with a hair cut fit for any castmember on "The L Word".

It happened again today. I should start wearing a sign. I should carry around a book of white Hispanic people, maybe then, the steryotype of the dark-skinned greasy haired Latino will be broken. It pisses me off.