Leave Me Alone.... I'm Lonely!
I'm so schizophrenic. Constant back and forth, can't make up my mind, total illogical patterns of thought. I finally made my decision.. Chestnut Hill. It may be the biggest mistake of my life, I'm so unsure about every choice I make and step I take. I'm growing up, but would rather stay home, eat cookies for breakfast, snuggle in my bed and watch Disney movies. Other times, however I feel like being independent, going against the grain, going insane, going mad. Other times I drive myself completely bonkers with how inconsistent I am, and how illogical my loopy mind really is. I have no maturity level, as I write this deep adult meaningful blog kinda really want to see the movie with the talking animals that was just advertized on TV. I hate big changes, I hate not knowing. But then sometimes I hate knowing, I hate predictanility, but feel completely unssafe with unpredictability. Before I was scared not knowing where I'd end up, now I'm scared of where I'll be. I'm weird. I'm so excitd to break away and start a new chapter in my life, but I really wish I was more sure of myself and my decisions.
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About Me |
Everything is reversible. Well, almost everything. When it comes to making decisions, I don't think anyone ever knows for sure, and in a way, I think that that's how it's supposed to be. I turned down a pretty good film school (university) to go to college. People thought I was crazy for turning down something I worked so hard to get, beating out so many people...but ce la vi. Sometimes you just do things to just know you can, and leave it alone(uh).
Rob, don't worry about feeling insecure or unsure about what's going to happen- it's not worth beating yourself down about. Everyone is or was in the same position you are....and while I understand that that may not sound as comforting as it should, it is. If you make a decision that may be right for you now but your persepective changes later, you'll deal with it, but it's hard to predict these things without trying. Life is trial and error. That's how we learn. There are a million and one ways to get to the same position you want to get to..you just have to find that hidden alley that is your own path of life.
Don't worry about being mature. It's not something you can conciously or subconciously control. In fact, I think it is mature of you to even recognize that. A mature person can evaluate how they are and reflect on themselves.
Welcome. :)