The Perks of Being a Cuban.

This may be the first thing I've ever written that's remotely funny. First story is about Ross from friends when he gets stood up. Second is about some person I know..... I wated to try writing something with such a serious title that turned out to be really ridiculous and ironic and funny. I'm getting better at comedy, not quite FUNNY yet

Tragedy and Misery

She’s an hour late
As you sit and wait
You sit, drink and wallow alone
Doesn’t it feel great?
On your first blind date
Joe’s Pizza picks up when you call her phone

Maybe she came
Maybe she saw you
Maybe she left then and there
You’ve been fake-numbered
You pitiful fool
Get up from that table; they’re starting to stare

Your life is nothing but plain ole tragedy
You wallow alone in self-loathing misery
Well I’m sorry life sucks, but please complain to another
Truth is I set you up with my mother
She’s been kinda lonely, thought I’d throw her a bone
One look at that pitiful pile, she was done.

He was so lonely
And she was the only
One who would notice him at all.
She said “I love you” in a letter
She tried and tried, he didn’t let her
Now she’s worse than him and has no friends at all.

Her life is nothing but plain ole tragedy
She sits and waits for him, miserably
Sorry life sucks, might you have a brother?
Cause your lover’s type isn’t far from yours either.
Now you’re kind of lonely, and that was a low blow
But your little boy toy wants his own beau.

Call it irony, call it tragedy
But problems follow these ill-fated fools.
Try to feel sorry for their misery
Try not to laugh at how their stories unfold
Try to sympathize, try to feel pity
Don’t hold it in or you might explode.