2010 seems like it'll be interesting. Can't fully explain why, or understand why... But it does feel like it'll be different. I'm a grown up, I suppose, and I do feel less self absorbed than i have been in years past. Maybe that's why I blog less? I have less issues??? Or I've realized that things I considered important or bloggable were really melodramatic and unessential. Either way, I'm growing. This is a good thing as long as I don't lose sight of who I am, yeah?
I don't like when people change, when friends change... I've missed a lot of people last year, and lost contact with a few who used to be part of my daily routine. There were certain people in my life that I never expected to be wondering how they're doing. I always assumed I'd know how their day's been every day. The fact that I have to wonder about once close friends is upsetting. It's a part of growing up I don't like dealing with yet.
I was asked yesterday if I'm the kind of friend I wish I had. And I think, in the way in which I am loyal, I'd like to have a friend like me. Because aside from 2 or 3 of my friends, loyalty is somewhat of a rarity. I do like that I sort of "mate for life" when it comes to friends... But that rarely is reciprocated because people do grow as I have, and distance forces us all to lose touch a bit. It's unrealistic, I suppose. But I do get jealous of people who still have their friend from when they were 4 or 5.
When i was 5, my friend David's mother hated me. She said I called too often and she wasn't a fan of her child talking on the phone. She was a bitch, and I think she was the reason I used that word for the first time. I'm not telling this story for any reason but to remind us all that David Ventura's mom used to be a bitch to an adorable 5 year old Me. Would be nice to know what she's up to haha!
So i guess 2010 for now is about keeping the relationships I have, making them stronger, maybe even forging some new ones. It's a bit hard to make new friends, but I"m just so goddamned charming, I might just be able to do it.
I love all of my readers :)
first? :P
just to show you i'm always watching. in the least creepiest way possible.
I'm scared shitless of 2010 for some reason. I think it's going to be a year of changes, a year of real progress. A time to surge forward. That's scary. I've realized in the past few months how we- no, how I tend to escape life. It sounds melodramatic, but I get so caught up in day to day stresses, allowing assignments to take number one priority with me. What a mistake! It's about people. About family, friends, a support system. You...I...can't run away from living. People = living life, taking advantage of life. Stressing out and staying alone to try to get something down equals misery and a waste of precious time. I don't want to go there again. I want to surge forward.
There we go. Thanks for letting me hijack your blog.
Happy 2010, roberto. :)